


The "Lit" Livestream

by madamguillotine



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:21:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23044702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamguillotine/pseuds/madamguillotine
Summary: When Evan Hansen guest-stars on Jared Kleinman's channel, things get... lit
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	The "Lit" Livestream

Jared Kleinman's cursor hovered over the record button.

"Are you ready?"

Evan Hansen nodded.

"Are you ready-ready?"

Evan nodded. Click

"Good! After! Noon! Welcome to my letsplay! I'm gaymerjared69! And this is-" he finger-gunned at Evan who stared directly into the light of the webcam for a moment,

"Umm-"

"And this is Evan!" Jared said for covering Evan's awkwardness in this area. "Today we're playing Sims 4 and my friend here wants to keep them alive as long as possible because he's a Good person. Where shall we start?"

"I've never played before," Evan said timidly, shrugging a bit.

"Okay, what do we do first, gang?" Jared asked his livestream, and the unanimous answer was to let Jared's guest-star build a new character. He opened the character creation screen, and gestured to the mouse.

"Design away! And no making your girlfriend and have her walk around in a bikini!"

Evan blushed, "I don't have a girlfriend. Who would she even be? I mean-stop that," he said to Jared who was batting his eyelashes at him and licking his lips.

"Than take the mouse," he gestured again.

"I told you I don't know how," he looked at his damp palms.

"That's fine. You just tell me what you want and I'll make it, we make a great team!" he smirked, giving him the finger guns again.

"Alright, he should have short brown hair, like me," he said, touching his hair like he was just making sure it hadn't changed since last time he saw it. Jared proceeded to give the character a bright green mohawk.

"Ears?" Jared asked

"Like mine," he repeated, touching his ears. Jared selected the most jug-eared option he could find, but keeping the face it had generated that looked like a middle-aged and female Pee Wee Herman.

"And be pretty skinny, like me," he said, trying to justify himself.

Jared set the gender switch to female and set the weight slider to maximum.

"And a shirt with blue stripes like mine, " he pulled at the material at his chest. Jared gave her a bikini top, short jorts, and purple rubber boots. He put tattoos up her arms and leaned back in his chair.

"Like looking in a mirror, isn't it, Evan?" Jared smirked.

"That's not-"

"Can't change it now!" he said, pushing the button to put his strange looking character into the game, "now the real game begins!" he said, cracking his knuckles.

Jared examined to see if there were any questions worth answering in the chat field while waiting for the game to load. He scrolled up a few times.

"Okay, khajiit666? I'll do Skyrim. Does that make you feel better?" he looked for a response, "You're welcome. Ah! There we go!"

Evan pointed at the screen, "I think that Sim is hungry. Can you feed her?"

"Kinky," he responded, reflexively, "She is hungry... Cancel meal!" he said, pressing the button to do so.

"Hey th-"

"Here comes my evil Sim. Ooh! I think he's gonna fight Evan T. Sim! Fight! Fight! Fight!" he chanted, pumping his fist.

"Can you do something to stop it?" Evan asked.

"Can," he pondered a second. "But won't. Let's see what's happening in the chat! Alright, I'm glad you're all having fun," he read a few more posts. "Evan. TheDivinePretender here has a message for you. They say, "Evan! Take off your shirt!" What do you say, big boy?"

He winked. Evan just looked at his that was hand tapping on his cast and blushed.

"Well, one of us should get naked and it might as well be me," Jared took off his glasses, "Now it's time for the real show!" he said whipping off his shirt, despite the pleas of his audience.

He turned his attention back to the game, "Oh dear, looks like everything’s on fire," he said in a jovial manner, "While I instruct a Sim to put that out let's take some more questions from the audi-Evan, are you on your phone?"

"It's Zoe," he said, meekly.

"Fine, talk to your girlfriend. Make sure to tell her how you're neglecting my naked body" he said, a little upset that even though he had asked Evan to turn his phone all the way off, he had the gall to be texting. He went back to his chat window. "Let's see... who else do we have here? Here's one from xxxFireStarter and they ask... hm! Good question! Let's find out," he glanced at Evan to see if he was paying attention yet. He wasn't.

"Evan?"

"Hm?" he asked, still typing on his phone.

"You have a thread on your back."

"Can you get it?"

"Sure," he grabbed the lighter from the drawer and set Evan's shirt on fire.

Evan screamed and dropped his phone.

"Put it out! Put it out!" he exclaimed in panic.

"Roll." Jared said pushing him off the chair. He didn't need to. The impact had put out the small shirt-fire.

\--

The next day, Jared went around to Evan's place with a container of store-bought cupcakes.

Evan opened the door and frowned. "You set me on fire."

"Yes, but, hear me out, cupcakes!"

Evan frowned but accepted the apology baked goods.

"So," Jared leaned with his back against the doorway. "Will you livestream with me again, because that was... Lit!"


End file.
